BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,
BTRIPP
btripp

Arrrgh ...

If this writing spew was still happening in the locked-down confines of 750words.com, I would be thrashing through a major bitchfest at the moment. However, significant parts of said venting specifically have to do with certain people who might actually read this ... so I'm going to (in the words of Archie Bunker) "stifle".

I have been in the WORST mood for a very long time ... keep waking up feeling doom/dread/despair, which is no fun at all. On top of this, I'm pretty much, as the saying goes on my last nerve and nearly ANYTHING can set me off into screaming, swearing, near-Tourettes rant. I was yelling at the f'n TV in the kitchen when I went out to grab some ramen this afternoon. Why? Because the five or six channels that I was trying to find something distracting to watch for 10-15 minutes ALL HAD F'N COMMERCIALS ON. It's almost funny in that I've spent my whole life in "marketing" yet I get ENRAGED if somebody tries to sell something to me.

The mood I'm in is sort of mutli-layered ... there's the doom/dread/despair, there's the hair-trigger rage, but there's also a feeling of everything being pointless, and nothing looking like it has a prayer of succeeding. On top of this is a profound sense of isolation, with a feeling that NOBODY (and, yes, that includes my immediate family) cares a whit for me. Aside from being inconvenienced by there being a stinking corpse in my office, I wonder if anybody would even NOTICE if I were dead. I'm pretty f'n sure nobody would CARE.

Bleh ... sucks to be me, as usual.

{P.S.: man, I wish I could write about the stuff that I'm not writing about, because there's some bitching that needs to be done about several things out there!}


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