BTRIPP

This is sung to the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann" ...



... I should have probably posted this to the old Gopher Void account, but I'm too tired to mess with a re-design of it (hey, it's nineteen years old!) at the moment ... plus I'm working up a new icon for it that doesn't include a Disney property in it.

Yeah, I know ... it's amazing it hadn't happened way before now, but last week I was treated to a 24-hour ban over on FB. Considering the vitriol I post in my Facebook stream, this was for an exceedingly minor (by my view) infraction ... calling COVID-19 the "chinky pox" (which I'd seen somewhere else online, and thought was hilarious). However, the thin-skinned purity police over there dubbed this (if you can believe it) "hate speech" and dinged me for 24 hours. I mean, really, I could show them REAL "hate speech" if they let us take the gloves off.



I sure do miss the old days around these parts when I could post stuff reflecting "how I really felt" without visits from the gendarmes (real or virtual)!

Well, Selenite posted this quiz ... and I couldn't resist:


1. Are you an Essential Worker?

Nope ... unless they've made "unemployed" an essential function :-(

1a. Are you in a vulnerable category?

Yep ... not so much by age (although I'm pushing that), but I have five "can kill me" conditions that are in a horse race to do so.

2. How many drinks have you had since the quarantine started?

Zero ... June 1 will by my 35th anniversary of not drinking.

3. If you have kids . . . Are they driving you nuts?

Only with worry ... neither of them live with us anymore :-(

4. What new hobby have you taken up during this?

Sleeping? Eh, still getting my 5 hours, but I've been adding afternoon/evening naps.

5. How many grocery runs have you done?

The Wife does the "grocery" runs per se, but I've been to the Dollar Tree and Target 3-4 times.

6. What are you spending your stimulus check on?

Will hand it over to The Wife ... I assume it will keep the lights and wifi on.

7. Do you have any special occasions that you will miss during this quarantine?

Well, we didn't have any family in for Easter, although Daughter No.2 and her BF are coming for dinner tonight.

8. Are you keeping your housework done?

As much as we typically do.

9. What movie have you watched during this quarantine?

Me, none (aside from having the TV on in the kitchen when I eat, I haven't watched anything other than a few YouTube videos and live streaming lectures) ... The Wife has done some Netflixing.

10. What are you streaming with?

We have Netflix and Amazon prime ... but I have a hard time keeping engaged with a half-hour TV show, let alone a movie.

11. 9 months from now is there any chance of you having a baby?

It would have to be the Second Coming with angels involved.

12. What's your go-to quarantine meal?

Meh ... I pick from the fridge. My trips to Dollar Tree are to make sure I have various frozen things for me to grab & nuke. I have cooked/baked a few times, however.

13. Is this whole situation making you paranoid?

Hey, I was pretty paranoid to start ... the corners of the internet that I hang out in are big on painting pictures of governmental maleficence and they're having a field day ... see my Facebook for lots and lots of links!

14. Has your internet gone out on you during this time?

Not "out", but my desk is quite far from the Wifi router (which is next to The Wife's desk) and my connectivity is a bit spotty depending on the weather/zodiac/gremlins ... couldn't get on Zoom at all last night.

15. What month do you predict this all ends?

Frankly, I think our mayor and governor like having everybody under house arrest ... could go on indefinitely.

16. First thing you're gonna do when you get off quarantine?

Sit and read in Starbucks for about 8 hours.

17. Where do you wish you were right now?

If I had unlimited funds, there are a LOT of nice hotels that might be more fun to quarantine in (unless they're all shut down globally).

18. What free-from-quarantine activity are you missing the most?

Hanging out at Starbucks and reading, hanging out a McDonald's and reading, having lunch at my fave little Chinese place (which does 90% of their business in pick-up and delivery, so I'm guessing they're doing fine).

19. Have you run out of toilet paper and hand sanitizer?

The Wife managed to find a 24-pack of nasty 1-ply TP right when this was all going nuts, so we're using that ... I have an "emergency" back-up 4-pack of the Dollar Tree stuff. And, unless this goes on into July, I think we're set for sanitizer.

19a. Have you run out of anything else?

We were having a light bulb issue there for a while, but that was solved by a run down to Target.

20. Do you have enough food to last a month?

Nope ... had looked at some of that prepper food, but figured I couldn't convince The Wife to eat any of it.

21. Has anything major happened in your life during the lockdown?

Well, I had just got set up with a group that was supposed to be getting me a job ... (grumble).

22. What are you grateful for?

I'm feeling better than I have for quite a while ... despite the handful of things that are trying to kill me.

23. Is there anything you'll miss about lockdown life?

Having a real good excuse to not do anything productive all day.


Now, wasn't that fun?

Oddly, nobody mentioned "chemotherapy" until one bottle of pills showed up in this ...



I'm on my first day taking the should-not-be-handled-by pills and the steroid that goes with them. I'm not feeling horrible (yet), but both the meds have long lists of side effects, none of which are particularly happy things (and both of them jack up blood sugar levels, so I'm sort of gearing up for some real bad mornings when my sugar counts are 300+).

After the second round (with a new fancy-schmancy robot machine) of radiation treatments ended up with my PSA numbers creeping up (they're still quite low right now, but they've notably increased every time I've had the test done), the radiation oncologist said I was pretty much done with that option, and passed me over to the medical oncologist. I've had two docs who "live to cut" and teach surgery over at Northwestern say that I'd be looking at that as only a last option, so I guess I'm down to Chemo or Cryo ... and they're going with Chemo first. Bleh.

It would have been nice if the new oncologist had mentioned "chemotherapy" at some point, rather than "oh, I think I need to get you on a couple of additional pills", because getting the one in that bag was a bit of a psychological shock!

I was sitting in Starbucks, trying not to fall asleep reading, when the odd urge to write a poem surfaced.

Given that I think I wrote all of one poem in the past 3 years, this was odd, indeed (especially after all those years of 250/yr).

However, it did successfully squirt of out my brain and onto the page, and here it is for all to see (click on the "v"):

( Collapse )

SANTA DOG

Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Has no presents
(has no presence)
In the future
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves
(Bing Bing Bing, Bong Bong Bong, snowness and of sleeves)
A fleeting and a greeting scene of effervescent eaves
(Bing Bing Bing, Bong Bong Bong, effervescent eaves)
A greeting and a meeting team of elves and frosty words
(Bing Bing Bing, Bong Bong Bong, elves and frosty words)
A greeting and a cheating team and other noxious herbs
(Bing Bing Bing, Bong Bong Bong, other noxious herbs)
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves (Santa! Santa!)
A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves (Santa! Santa!)
Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Santa Dog's a Jesus Fetus
Has no presents
(has no presence)
In the future

- The Residents


CLICK ME
or
CLICK ME

I was able to get in to see my therapist today ... and we have an appointment for the 31st.

I can never remember the good stuff ... only the trauma.

I could make cookies brilliantly a dozen times, but only the burnt batch will stick in my mind.

And because everything I initially pull up about the past is horrible, my expectations for the future are hideous.

I want to curl up in a ball and hide in a corner.

Suicidal Depression
for One and All!

new stuff, soon