BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,
BTRIPP
btripp

How did it get to be THAT season?

           

As I may have mentioned, my days have very little variation ... the job search has no milestones nor any end ... I spend all day every day researching job possibilities, attending networking events where I might find somebody who knows somebody who could be hiring, and hour after soul-crushing hour cranking out resumes. I really wish somebody had passed me a note back in May or June of 2009 that said: "Forget about finding a job, you'll be no closer to one two and a half years from now than you are today!" as I could have used the time to write a book, or train in Android programming, or even start a business. But, NOOOOOOOOO, I've wasted a quarter of a decade looking for work with NOTHING to show for it.

Anyway, the arrival of Thanksgiving, with the Xmas shopping (or not, if one has no money) season right behind it sort of caught me by surprise. I actually had me and The Girls scheduled for something else this evening, but was told in no uncertain terms that it was the Magnificent Mile Lights Festival and we were going to that. Since The Girls were little, this was an annual thing for us ... when my Mom was still with us, she'd get a table at this Thai place at the Bloomingdale's mall, with a view over the upper end of N. Michigan Avenue. Since she's been gone, we've generally watched from the staging area on Oak Street, which is where the pictures above were shot from.

The Wife and I spent an hour this morning trying to figure out some way that we could afford to get Daughter #2 what she wants from Santa. This doesn't even get us close to finding what we can get (and do) for Daughter #1's 16th birthday in 2 weeks, or what we can do for Xmas in general.

You know, people tell you to follow your dreams. After my car crash back in 1993 (and the subsequent closing of the PR firm), I tried to follow my dreams by setting up a publishing company. It failed. I failed. And everything went to hell afterwards. The universe is set up to crush you like a bug if you step out of line. Had I "made a lateral move" into a VP slot at some other agency back in 1994, I'd be making a substantial six figure salary, my Girls would be in private schools, with every advantage, we'd have a vacation home, and all sorts of great stuff. Instead I can't even get enough freelance hours to pay for a data plan on phones for the family, or get a freak'n interview for a job.

Thanks, universe. It's been swell.


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