I had another rough day emotionally today ... have a lot of stuff that's not been getting done, from a mass of "collected" job openings which need to get resumes sent (I keep hitting those "jump through hoops for an hour, little monkey" on-line forms, which turn a productive time into a frustrating waste where instead of clearing off a dozen, I get only a couple out, leaving nearly as many yet to go as when I started) to book reading. As regular followers of this space know, I target reading 72 non-fiction books a year, which works out to six a month, and so far this month I've only finished ONE book, which is digging me a DEEP hole to start off the year. In the 84 months (7 years) that I've had (and made) this target, I've only slipped below 4 books per month three times, and have never been under two. I don't know why/how this has happened (admittedly, I've been stuck in one book for three months now and am not even a third done with it), but it's making me feel like a big fat slovenly slothful failure ... and more self-loathing is NOT something that I need on my plate these days. Of course, as you may have noted, I've not exactly been getting the book reviews done either, being still backed up five or six titles on that side of things.
These days become such a blur ... I keep 24/7 time sheets of my days, with everything I do charted out, but the only "meaningful" thing on them (well, aside from keeping track of the one project currently paying me hourly) it noting how little sleep I'm getting. I do NOT understand how people can get 8 hours of sleep ... especially not in a row. I probably average around 5 ... although I suppose I could get 8 if it was broken down into two 4-hour chunks on opposite ends of the day. Sort of like my schedule towards the ends of terms in college, when I'd be up for six hours, asleep for two, up for six, asleep for two, up for six, asleep for two ... a pattern that I could keep up for weeks if needed.
I suppose you all will be happy to know that, after tonight, I only have one more post to go to have completed another NaBloPoMo ... which means that I'll probably go back to only posting when I have something to say (radical concept, that). I'm sure the silence will be preferable to most. I know most days it calls a siren song to me.