So, what do I do? Go to the smallest, most manageble bits of the "to do" list. Among these, of course, are typing up the poems. It could be argued, that focusing on the poems is healthy, since they are the most authentically ME thing I have on my plate, but it could also be seen as the deepest level of denial, as doing the poems is the least likely thing to provide any solutions to the current chaos in my life.
On a "positive" note, I got another acknowledgement from a company of them having received my resume ... I know that getting these is about on par with the "Get Lost LOSER" cards that I've proposed ... but somehow it feels like an accomplishment to at least be told that they'll stick my resume in a file folder for six months before throwing it out. Oh, also Daughter #1's birthday party on Saturday went well ... even though WE were late for it (!!!) ... and everybody seemed to have a good time. It looks like some of her friends' parents liked the Dojo enough that they're signing the kids up for classes there too, which will be nice for #1.
Anyway, here's the latest poem ... remember, the motherlode of anguished despair is at http://i.am/btripp ...
FIVE DOORS TO THIS DECAY
1
slabs of doubt
slathered with panic
served with heaping helpings
of horror and dread ...
yes, that's the menu
the carte of the feast
from which we can't vary
what we always must eat
2
useless turnings
pointless drive
all directions
lead downward
every forward
bears descent
trapped in downflow
and destructions' grasp
3
so many things
are yet to lose
we hold them closely
dreading the day
they are torn from us
frantically searching
for ways to save
that which we love
4
I curse this world
of nightmare spirals
where terrors bloom
bold in the light;
I curse this race
which is so blinded
by greed and doctrine
and the sleep of lies
5
too many days
and yet too few
the frame keeps shifting
between these states
the hidden dungeon
in which we fester
and the spinning countdown
until decay
- Brendan Tripp
12/09/2001
Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp