BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

Bleh ...

One of those days.

Woke up full-on into the hopeless/pointless/aimless/useless mode. Had a therapist appointment, figured that might help, but no. Rather that trying to nudge me out of said mood, she was being somewhat confrontational about why I don't change - asking "what do you gain from these states?".

Frankly, I don't think I gain anything ... but they're the result of failure after failure after failure ... to the extent that I end up beaten down so far that it becomes clear to me that trying to do anything is just to invite another pummeling by the universe. Anything positive seems a lie, and so I'd have to do some serious mental convolutions to even begin to try to envision positive mind sets.

I was in such a funk that I pretty much slept all afternoon ... not one of my typical responses

I managed to get up by 9pm and head out to a 10pm meeting down a NTAC, however. Spoke with another regular afterwards, and were exchanging book recommendations with him. The one he was strongly suggesting to me I know I have ... in the storage locker ... in one of the "to be read" boxes ... requiring a bit of a road trip to get my hands on ... if it wasn't 1300 pages long, I might get one from Amazon, but there are not "cheap" cheap options for it.

Anyway ... not the best of days.

Visit the BTRIPP home page!

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.