BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

Deep funk ...

I suspect that if I were employed (in something that wasn't particularly soul-crushing), or the beneficiary of some major fund (I'd take a big lottery win, really), my psychological states would be far more positive than they are. Despite the chaos of the first part of this year (which, yes, I have still not detailed here, although it being a daily stress factor), which would have been totally avoided had I not been without a paycheck for the past decade, I am at least reasonably level in my malaise on a day-to-day basis.

However, there are days like today that creep in. I have been rollercoastering between panic attacks and deep depressive funks for the past 36 hours or so, sufficiently disrupting to have kept me off the computer and pretty much retreated to my bed. Not fun. At least it's Saturday, so I have some late-night options for getting to meetings. Speaking of which ... I should get myself a least presentable enough to go hang out with the drunks ... don't want to miss another day and end up beating myself up over that too.

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