Are there any GOOD days I'm going to have? It doesn't seem like it. No matter how "not bad" any particular 24-hour period might be working out, there is always SOMETHING that slams in on it to make it a bad, depressing, stressful, anguished, hateful day. There are so many people and institutions that I would like to BUTCHER at this point. If I have one more fucking credit card denied I think I'm going to start sending C4 in with their fucking bills. Damn them all to hell. Unfortunately, the way things look, for ME in my fucking life, it's like the beer slogan ... it just doesn't get any better than this! No ... this is as good as it gets, since things get more Hellish and insane day after day after fucking day. At this point I really don't believe that anybody is gong to HIRE me, and I'm pretty damn sure that any "retraining" that I launch into for a career change is going to be in whatever will be completely unneeded in the workforce once I'm done getting re-educated. Damn. Suicide looks better every fucking day, but I SWEAR that if I'm going down, I'm going to take as many of those god-damned motherfucking sacks of shit with me that I can!
Yeah ... enjoy the new poem ... there's a lot more off at http://i.am/btripp ....
FADING, DEFIANT STILL
at the outer reach of our desperation we spew into the void these last frantic sprays, the final efforts of a broken life, to see if something will yet preserve
all other options have crumbled gone brittle and fallen away leaving scarred facades, disfigured visions, and bleeding lacerations on the surface of the soul
we can't say we hope within these forms they are more reactive, instinctive spasms of action against doom, but as the fish in spawn upon the angler's line it is the last chance to be
the darkness closes all around me the screamed demands of hostile worlds create cacophonies meant to confuse; I huddle low here alone against the blast
but this won't sway me, perverse unto the last, I defy them and curse their voice; I shall strive against them with the last scintillas of my dying light and never bow their way
