BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,
BTRIPP
btripp

not that anybody gives a shit ...

You know how I feel today? I feel like I did after my near-fatal car crash back in1993 ... I was in a HUGE amount of pain (I pretty much broke everything) and they had me doped up on not-quite-enough pain killers ... I was in the ICU and would be tossing and turning (as much as possible given my condition) and trying to sleep, but I'd be sliding in and out of real nasty dreams ... every once in a while I'd REALLY get to sleep, nice refreshing unaware sleep, and then I'd wake up, thinking that the whole accident thing had been a NIGHTMARE, only to discover all the tubes, all the bandages, all the casts, all the straps, etc., and, of course, the pain ... and realize that the NIGHTMARE IS REAL.

That's how I feel most days anymore. I drift into "focus on this project, focus on that project" zones where I'm buffered by my focus on only that one little thing, but then WHAM! something triggers a reality check with the outside world, and, like waking up on that damn ICU gurney ... THE NIGHTMARE IS REAL ... THE NIGHTMARE IS REAL ... THE NIGHTMARE IS REAL ... and how the hell do you "wake up" out of that???


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