Oh, shit ...

Just had a call from the bank ... it turns out that Eschaton just went into the red via some automatic deduction thing. MAN ... I hope to god these drugs the shrink is supposed to be setting me up with this afternoon helps with this. I do not "get" bookkeeping at all, and MY checkbook shows us with a bit over $1,000.00 ... but I've not had any "system" to get these deduction things logged (stuff like the bank service charges, up to recently, AOL, and the damn "monthly minimum" charges for taking credit cards ... not that ANYBODY ever orders with credit cards from us!). I wonder if these bank people realize how close to suicide some people are ... every time I get a call like this my first reaction is a massive urge to kill myself. Damn. Fuck this god-damned world. It grinds you down and then starts kicking you, and when it figures you can't get up, it starts stomping. The big problem is that I can't even ENVISION things getting better.