BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

I promised you poems ... #4

Man ... these days have really sucked. Before I started taking these drugs, I was not typically depressed, just a freak-out waiting to happen around some stuff (financial stuff, primarily) ... but I have recently been getting big dips in my mood, into that "oh, fuck, what's the use?" territory. I had to miss the meeting with the shrink earlier this week since I was having to deal with The Girls AND getting my mom home from the hospital that day, but when he gets back from vacation I think I need to talk to him about upping the dose or something. Of course, The Wife suggested that maybe the cold meds I've been taking to try to keep my shit together enough to make it into class each morning might be screwing around with the Celexa. Could be. Shit ... I used to LIKE drugs ... now I don't even want to see a fucking pill. Ack ... to paraphrase an old SCTV skit ... "WRITE ANOTHER POEM!!!!!" ...

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                    SINKING SPINNING STATES

                    only the markings
                    the inscribed lines
                    remain, are real,
                    the hopeless scrapings
                    of hands on stone
                    to scratch some trace
                    of having been
                    within this here

                    no other realm
                    comes to call
                    beyond this boundary
                    too little substance
                    is allowed
                    to give a tracing
                    a way to be
                    one with such pasts

                    so much devolves here
                    so much decays
                    we slough off facets
                    in decomposition
                    replacing nothing
                    all is loss
                    all is rot
                    all descent

                    we hurtle downward
                    without control
                    nothing to stop
                    nothing to slow
                    this fast decline
                    no other vector
                    offers here
                    no alternative to death

                    we see no growth
                    only dissolution
                    we see nothing build
                    only collapse
                    we see no tomorrow
                    which would bear hope
                    only sinking spinning
                    down to abased states

                             - Brendan Tripp

                    Copyright © 2002 by Brendan Tripp

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