BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

Like you care ...

Well ... I got in to see the doctor who told me that I didn't have pneumonia (or at least didn't still have it), and he gave me some antibiotics to clean up the rest of the mess in my chest. I was in such a fog yesterday ... I think it has to do with the Celexa ... I need to get into taking that at a regular time ... I've missed it once or twice and wake up all stupid (which sure as hell didn't help in class yesterday ... I wasn't able to remember anything). Frankly, I think I need a bigger dosage since it has been a bit of a roller coaster with big dips into really dark hopeless depression when I've gone more than 24 hours without one (which, of course, really sucks, since I hadn't been HAVING depressive episodes like that before taking this stuff ... I was looking for something to fight off the anxiety attacks). Anyway, I seem to be "on a tear" on writing this week, so have a few more here.

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                    TO STIR THE SPIRIT DARKLY

                    now every cycle
                    brings an end
                    and every motion
                    triggers pain
                    and every action
                    twists this web
                    of vile demand
                    into a shroud

                    how can one escape
                    these binding fibers?
                    how can one untie
                    the crushing bands
                    that seal one's life
                    into that world,
                    that falser world
                    that would destroy?

                    what path brings disengagement
                    from the agreements of a race
                    too blind, too stupid,
                    too much asleep
                    to ever see the truth?
                    what path leads free
                    from the mundane state
                    and back into the light?

                    we are so lost
                    we have fallen
                    so far into
                    debasing zones
                    we have been cast
                    into pits of torment
                    down from communion
                    with the gods

                    only darkness
                    seems to offer
                    some form of solace,
                    some mode of care,
                    only rage and hate
                    and violence
                    yet stir the spirit
                    beyond this grey

                             - Brendan Tripp

                    Copyright © 2002 by Brendan Tripp

visit the BTRIPP home page

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