June 17th, 2001

Doom

More of the same ...

Man ... this has been quite a few days. I'm a wreck. First that insanity with the interview (who knows where THAT is going?), and then this strange Fathers Day weekend. I ended up having to scrap my schedule today to take Daughter #1 to her swim class. Recently on Saturdays I've been presiding voer Daughter #2's nap, and hence am able to get some serious work done during the day, but today The Wife thought a picnic and "entertain daddy" time was in order, but #2 is NOT good to have at the Health Club where #1 has her swimming lessons, so I got #1 on the bus and she walked #2 down there in the stroller. We then were to meet them at the fountain out in front of Navy Pier, after having picked up some lunch. If this was not complicated enough, I'd had an early-morning call from the blood bank looking for donors (they're in an "emergency" mode right now, the local supplies are down to zip), and I made a 2:30 appointment. Well ... after lunch we went on over to Navy Pier, The Wife taking the girls to the Children's Museum, and I cut out to go give blood. Unfortunately, when I got there my blood pressure was WAY up ... it usually is right at the dividing line where they will or won't take it (the last time it was fine, though) ... but today it was high, and only got higher from my sitting around for 5-10 minutes. Oh well ...

Anyway ... wrote this in the morning. I almost NEVER write in the morning, but took advantage of #1's swim class time to pull out the notebook.


                    NO PRAYERS TO SAVE, NO HOPE TO FREE


                    such desperation...
                    dawn comes calling
                    with panic,
                    dire messengers
                    of disasters wrought
                    of too much trust
                    too much believing
                    in what we had

                    these layer
                    with pre-existing angst,
                    build up strata
                    of anguish, stress, and dread
                    into some complex
                    which can not have a name
                    except for "break-down"
                    or possibly just "death"

                    no plans find fruition
                    no hopes realize
                    yet every fear
                    shows up full-formed
                    and right on schedule
                    in mundane grids
                    every terror
                    arrives on time

                    we grow so sick
                    of endless evil fate
                    waves of nausea
                    fill the day
                    when faced with worlds
                    full of monsters now made real
                    and nightmares only strengthened
                    by every new-found morn

                    descending doom
                    has built a pit
                    that nothing can escape
                    we are cast into these depths
                    with curses and abuse
                    no means exist within the real
                    to pull us out
                    and none care for our pleas



                             - Brendan Tripp
                                06/16/2001

                    Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp
 
 



visit my home page



Loon

Happy Fathers Day ...

To me.

Well, it's actually sort of been Fathers Day all weekend, as noted in previous posts. We started with taking Friday off to have The Girls take me to the Cubs game, and we're going out to Brunch with my mom today. I got my FAVORITE Fathers Day gift this morning ... the little black folding "talking picture frames" from Radio Shack with pics of the The Girls and a little comment from each (of course, "comments" from #2 are still in the "DAAA!" stage). According to the package, the chip in these things should keep the message for 100 years ... so no matter how old I get, I can push that button and hear my daughters' "little girl voices" telling me how much they love me ... I can't think of any nicer gift! I also got a baseball-bat shaped bottle of sunflower seeds and a video of "Elmo's Magic Cookbook".

Since my dad died when I was 2, Fathers Day was always something that other people celebrated ... and, of course, this whole "father thing" has been one long improvisation. At least I don't have any "bad cycles" (if there were any there) to pass down to the Girls. Dang. Now I want to drive up to Wisconsin to bring them to his grave. (sigh) We'll have to schedule a road trip one of these weekends.


visit my home page



Loon

The day ...

Well ... we skipped church which eased up the schedule a good deal. I hate doing this, since we've been so involved up there, but there was no way that daughter #2 was going to be good at brunch with her Nana if we dragged her off there, and just having me and daughter #1 go would have run into the complication of a pot-luck going away party for the current interim minister. So, instead, we all hung out in bed until it was time for brunch.

I'm a real "foody" ... having grown up in the food industry (I'm a P.R. brat) ... and there were times in my life where I habitually ate out in restaurants 8-10 times a week. Our current state of financial ruin has put a REAL crimp in my dining patterns, and this is one of those hard to quantify stressors in my life. So, it was VERY nice to be able to go to the local French Bistro for a very nice meal. I started with a very well executed order of Escargot ... which were just perfect, while The Wife and my mom split a Charcuterie plate (which I got to pick at as well). I then had a very good chicken and mushroom crepe. Somehow I just wasn't able to convince either of The Girls to try my snails! However, #2 rather enthusiastically dug in to a "petite" version of the chicken/mushroom crepe while #1 (who is going through that "won't eat anything" phase) had scrambled eggs and country potatos (and, as if anybody cared, The Wife had a curried chicken salad that looked yummy, and my Mom had a poached salmon that she said was delightful). If you're in the Gold Coast of Chicago, I do recommend Bistro Zinc as a very well done "bistro" experience.

Anyway, we went back to my Mom's place (she lives right down the street) for a bit, where she had some gifties for The Girls (as she said "after all, if it wasn't for THEM you wouldn't be celebrating much of a Father's Day!") of some outfits she'd picked up. We eventually got back home and all headed down to the pool. Daughter #2 has been VERY pissed about #1 and me going swimming without her, and you could tell she was real excited about getting to go too (the problem being that The Wife has to come along if #2 is going in, and The Wife does NOT "do the pool" unless she absolutely has to). Nice day. Nice weekend. Unfortunately, now I am SO FAR BEHIND on everything that I think I'm going to have to set up an espresso IV drip at my desk to get me through the next couple of days!


visit my home page