September 26th, 2001


Birthday Poem ...

One of my long-standing "traditions" has been to write a poem on my birthday ... which gives me at least something to peg "where I was back then" comparisons on. Needless to say, this fell away when I pulled back from writing (which, one must remember, was due to my writing getting locked into too unyielding cycles of depression ... just in case you think the current stuff is dire!), but here it is again. I've not been able to get around to typing this up until just now ... but isn't it a cheery little ditty? Bleh. Somebody fucking HIRE ME already, damn it!

                    THIS EVIL PLACE AND TIME

                    the fractured state
                    the fragmented time
                    these are the setting
                    these are the frame
                    for all this chaos
                    for this vile decay
                    we sink deep within this
                    drowning in ache

                    a darkness is within
                    an empty place
                    where is no hope
                    where is no dream
                    where is no trace of prayer
                    so much destroys us
                    so many things defile
                    and leave no recourse

                    some evil hovers
                    over this life
                    all threads that promise
                    are trampled down
                    all avenues which seem
                    to lead to freedom
                    are blocked by chain
                    and toppled stone

                    unsteady context
                    upsets the day
                    we can't perform
                    we can't achieve
                    all things flow past
                    in muddled grey
                    unable to engage with
                    impossible to take

                    such returning
                    seems to have no point
                    we are so damaged
                    so broken here ...
                    is there a tomorrow
                    without this pain?
                    is there a future
                    released from this despair?

                             - Brendan Tripp

                    Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp

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