October 16th, 2001

Loon

I wonder ...

I wonder if I were in a job I really loved, making the six-figure salary that I need to maintain our current home and life, would I be less ANGRY about the whole war thing?

I mean, I love my home, I love my family, but I am failing them on every front, and it is almost certain that we're losing this place ... and I have never wished to live anyplace else.

But, if the financial thing was stable, would I be so driven to HATE, so focused on genocide, so willing to see hundreds of millions of people die across the Muslim world? I don't know ... maybe the things which are driving me down into this personal armageddon are so hard to lay a finger on, that the very tangible Islamist threat is a handy stand-in ... maybe they are the target of so much of my rage, so much of my mental energry (thinking through ways of "removing the threat"), because that has simply stepped in to ground the unfocused plasma storm of my seething rage, anguish, and frustration.

I don't know. All I know is that emotionally, I want to see the fucking end of the world.


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Loon

I have been a fucking WRECK all day ...

Man ... this death-spiral into destitution really sucks ... I've gotten to the point where I break out crying at the slightest fucking thing ... and I'm the sort of guy who typically does NOT cry unless unduly provoked. I broke down six times today ... with as innocuous triggers as not being able to fold down this "castle" thing (incompetence), not being able to get The Wife's new computer functioning (incompetence again), fixing a Barney videotape that had busted (one thing I was able to do), seeing a window display for that new Monsters, Inc. movie (stuff I can't afford to buy The Girls), looking out the window (going to lose the view along with the apartment), etc., etc., etc. ... damn hard to get anything done when I'm on a hair trigger for blubbering melt-down. Sucks being me ... big time.


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Loon

THESE are the MODERATES?

   



The more I read about this stuff, the more I think this war SHOULD be against Islam in general ... unless we want the threat of a 12th centrury theocracy hanging over our heads forever ... heck, I'm no fan of Christianity , but check out THIS article about the "tolerant" "moderate" Muslim states ... these pigfucking scumbags make Torquemada look like Mr. Rogers! ... http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=24886


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