June 30th, 2002

Loon

You probably wouldn't want to know ... 1 of 5

Well, the good news is that I got another 20 poems done this month (putting me well ahead of target for the year ... which helps) ... the bad news is, of course, that I got another 20 of MY poems done ... so they're just the record of "my struggles" which probably nobody cares to read. I'm feeling like SHIT of late, emotionally, and there are SO DAMN MANY things that are slipping away ... I just can't keep up with ANYTHING anymore. I've at least been able to put my focus on the school stuff, but I have this dark shadow deep in my gut that tells me it's just more effort for nothing ... that I'll get out of this with a huge chunk of debt and no fucking job and no fucking hope. Other than that things are lovely. As you can see from the title here ... four more of these are to follow.


Visit the BTRIPP home page!


Collapse )
Loon

You probably wouldn't want to know ... 2 of 5

Speaking of school ... I am just not "synching" with the new instructor ... as I may have mentioned, I'm in sort of an odd situation there, being the only person in my class ... all the others having dropped out. My original instructor got pulled in to teach the new class and a guy who was doing night classes was pulled in for me. I worked well with the other guy ... this one is a struggle .... and I'm not sure that I'll be able to keep my GPA up with him at the helm. The grading at Chubb is pretty brutal 96-100 is an A, 88-95 is a B, and 80-87 is a C and everything below 80 is failing. I have managed to maintain that A over three terms, and it would really SUCK to lose that due to the new approach. Bleh ... welll, I always have POETRY TO FALL BACK ON ... yeah, right, like a Roman general always had his sword ...


Visit the BTRIPP home page!


Collapse )
Loon

You probably wouldn't want to know ... 3 of 5

Things have been so dire in LJ-land of late, with deaths, intimations of suicide, losses, and major freak-outs ... it saddens me to see others going through similar hells to me around here ... sometimes I wish it was "just me" (hey, then I'd be special!) in anguish. It is very hard for me to keep up these long-distance "carings" and I find myself very vunerable from things going awry ... like today in IRC, I got bitch-slapped for something I'd said to try to insert some glimmer of non-morbidity into a pretty dark place, and it got totally miscontrued. Nothing like opening up and trying to help and getting a whammy for it. I think I'm going to take another long vacation for IRC ... things always seem to get fucked up there.

ANYWAY ... here's another lovely poem. There are a bunch more over at http://i.am/btripp ... but, unfortunately, not the past few months ... maybe over the weekend of the 4th (I do get a 4-day weekend!) I'll be able to block out some time to get caught up.


Visit the BTRIPP home page!


Collapse )
Loon

You probably wouldn't want to know ... 4 of 5

I was having JavaScript dreams last night ... haven't had "code" dreams in a while ... I was trying to get some problems sovled on a website which just kept getting more convoluted and complicated. It would be nice if the main browser boys would get together and all support one standard, eh? I see that Netscape 7 is available for pre-release download ... I hope they fixed the stuff that is freaky about 6 (I've been spending a lot of time with multiple browsers of late in school ... so am beginning to get a bit touchy on this stuff). Here's another poem for your perusing pleasure, and I'm pretty sure that it is compatible with all browsers ... if not with many human sensibilities ...


Visit the BTRIPP home page!


Collapse )
Loon

You probably wouldn't want to know ... 5 of 5

Geez ... that last post was sort of damn stream-of-consciousness, eh? I guess I'm running out of steam here. As I've previously noted, it was a LOT easier when I wrote my stuff into the keyboard ... it takes so damn long to get things typed up and then converted over to "LJ format" for these posts (let alone doing the editing for the poems site). (sigh) More stuff that takes time. Needless to say, I'd rather slap these things up here within a day or so of getting them written rather than waiting for Sunday to decode the scribbles. Oh well. My Poems ... "read 'em and weep" ... lord knows I do ...


Visit the BTRIPP home page!


Collapse )