June 4th, 2003



Spent most of the past 3 days dis-assembling, moving, and re-assembling furniture. It took a LONG time to get Daughter #1's bed (a huge "captain's bed" we got for her several years ago) broken down in chunks small enough to move into Daughter #2's room, where it was replacing the crib/daybed setup which she was getting too big for. Then today Daughter #1's new bed (a bunk bed with a futon couch on the bottom) came in and I got that put together and re-arranged the furniture in her room to accomodate it. I really had wanted to paint in there before finalizing the furniture placement, but there was just no way. I've had a gallon of paint for her room for 3 years now, but we needed to get the old border off before painting and she didn't want to change borders from the original one we had in there to one we'd gotten a few years back to match her bedding. While we were out shopping this weekend (I know, "with WHAT money?" ... have to ask The Wife that!) we ordered her a new border, so I guess painting will have to get scheduled in at some point in the next week or so.

You would think that with all this physical work I'd feel better, but I've gotten deeper into depression every damn day. So many things are stacking up that I just don't have easy answers for. I am NOT happy about this. I keep find myself thinking about the lottery ... and if my "chances for things working out OK" are that low, I might as well just jump in front of the fucking El.

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