August 5th, 2003


Note to the Universe:

C'mon ... either let me win the Lottery or have somebody HIRE ME into a job that I won't hate and that will pay me enough so that we can make it on our combined salaries. I am so sick of being in this void ... nothing I do seems to achieve anything in the outside world, and yet that same outside world keeps dumping chaos and trauma and panic back in on me. I am deeply depressed and can't figure out what else to do, since I've done everything that I'm capable of, and everything I've tried has failed.

I'm not having any fun in this incarnation anymore and am almost ready to do something about it.

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