January 9th, 2014


Another bad day ...


I knew that getting hopeful was only pasting a "kick me" sign on my back ... and the universe has, of course, obliged.

Why can't I find a job?

My writing gig turned from a full-time (albeit "contract") gig to a freelance gig (with supposedly 4-6 hours a day worth of stuff to do), but over the past 3 weeks (admittedly, two of them being "the holidays") that has dwindled to at first an hour a day and now to zero contact at all.

I feel like my guts have been ripped out.

It seems that every time I find something that appears to be "salvation" on the economic front, it's just a tease. Like the universe is waving goodies in my face, saying "Is this what you want, Brendan? Sure! Look how great this is! It's just what you wanted! Aren't you relieved it's finally here?" and then WHAM ... it gets yanked away.

And I'm back at square one again ... except farther behind.

This has happened maybe a half a dozen times over the past five years ... I find myself in something that looks great, or looks like it will be great, and just when I start to believe it disappears.

I'm really, really, really sick of this.

I have a ton of skills, I have a ton of experience, I'm a enthusiastic, dedicated, reliable worker. Yet nobody will hire me.


Some days I start wishing for very bad things, because the good stuff never comes.

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