Oh, did I mention that we're broke? Yeah, it's starting to hit home that we've tapped everything and are now in the big blank area downhill towards January (when I will HOPEFULLY be getting hired into some sort of a paying job). This has been hitting home hard the past several days as we are trying to plan a Birthday party for Daughter #1, and pretty damn near every option is coming up as several hundred dollars ... that we don't have. Hell, I even gave a serious half-thought to doing a Chuck E Cheese party, just to have the per-kid cost minimized. This really sucks, since she's turning 7 and these are starting to be IMPORTANT for her. Bleh. Sometimes I think things would be better if I was just a memory and a paid-out insurance policy.
A MELTING FLUX WITHOUT ARRAY
set apart, isolated, the mundane flow slides around a rock in streams rushing regardless, unconcerned that we are lost
the markers tumble, fall to incoherence, we can not sort the months from days, the hours from their weeks; all a miasma, dark and thick and vague in which we're so enmired
still the juggernaut does not cease, it grinds along converting being down into dust, crushing dreams and hope and prayer into anguished despair
the weights amass, no sense or meaning, just down and down, ache piled upon pain; gravity's descent into lower states, unable to stand, unable to breathe
spun out of life into a vagueness, we find ourselves unable to align to unseen grids sensed in motion a melting flux without array
