BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

Oh, yeah ... and then there's this ...

Another "lost day" as far as work was concerned. We let Daughter #1 stay home from school (she's been getting home too late to make it to the dojo for her martial arts classes, so we've been doing this a bit on Wednesdays), and I took her to the early show of Spy Kids. Unfortunately, the PG rating was pretty well targeted ... she's 5 and was FREAKING OUT by half-way through the movie. I could never quite pry out of her what specifically was bugging her (there was nothing overtly SCARY about it ... but lots of "trust issues" and "identity issues" that would make a Freudian happy), but about an hour in to it she wanted OUT. Which is too bad, since I was quite enjoying the film.

I had been planning on dragging her up to the church while I installed the web site (fucking AT&T won't allow remote FTP for their i495 plan ... you HAVE TO be on the computer with the damn ad-frame program running), but she was wanting to go home and watch "safe" videos, so I blew that off for later this week. I'll post a link up here when I finally get that up and running ... it really is a very nice little site, if I do say so myself.

I was, however, able to get her to go to her dojo class (I was a bit worried at first), which was good, since she got the third stripe on her belt today. Her little friend there must be about a month ahead of her (although Daughter #1 is much better at everything in the class at this point) and got her next belt today. I hope #1 stays focused on this ... she's very good at it, and it's a nice combination of physical fitness and mental discipline ... and the whole "working for the next belt" thing is great to keep her attention.

Anyway, wrote this today ... no, I'm not in a very good place emotionally these days.

                    DASHED ON JAGGED DAYS

                    caught in a flow
                    dragging down
                    stuck in a mode
                    of decay

                    nothing achieved
                    means anything
                    everything failed
                    always counts
                    the negative mass
                    forever outweighs
                    the meager feather
                    of the light

                    oh, so broken,
                    oh, so bent
                    by accumulated pain
                    no rest comes
                    no ease
                    no chance to heal
                    no way to gain
                    in this world of loss

                    darkness folds
                    all points to one
                    creasing time
                    into convoluted states
                    unable to be mapped
                    or traced in motion
                    we are lost in this
                    removed from every joy

                    no hope here
                    no love
                    we stand exiled
                    from every comfort
                    not even certain
                    where center is
                    to know where pain
                    resides within

                             - Brendan Tripp

                    Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp

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