BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

bleh ...

I have been fighting off (mainly successfully) a cold (courtesy one of my lovely daughters), but tonight I just couldn't sleep because when I lie down I can't breathe ... I will, in a while, retreat to one of my seated (reclining) sleeping spots, hopefully not in my desk chair here, though.

I'm so pissed at The Wife ... she's pretty much totally "thrown in the towel" on the Tutoring biz. I'm still trying to keep up MY end of it (despite having vast chunks of time taken up by both working catering gigs and looking for regular work), and all she seems interested in doing is casting about on the web for "what's next". We have 250 packs of info (with great looking imprinted calculators) to get out to the schools, which should have probably been distributed a couple of weeks back, and I've pretty much had to force the issue by getting a car for the week. The whole IDEA of my going into bartending was to have some income coming in while we built the tutoring biz, but she's obvious lost interest in it.

Back when we met, she had never lived in one place more than about 18 months (since college), whenever things got not to her liking in housing, job, whatever, she'd just up and move (as I joked "once the windows got dirty") ... then she got hooked up with me, Mr. Stasis, who has lived at the same address for 25 years, had the same barber for 30 years, etc., etc., etc. Needless to say, I've frustrated her "run away" response whenever I could, but I don't know what to do about this. While not exactly being "our life's savings", we do have a considerable chunk of money tied up in this, and she had delusions about our being able to just "sell it back" to the corporation, which turns out to NOT be the case. Unfortunately, all her "plan B's" have even less grounding in reality, which comes out to pretty much us losing nearly six figures by walking away.

I am not happy about this, and am damned if I'm going to be working a physically exhausting job for a piss-poor hourly wage just to make it easier for her to "run away" from a difficult situation! Hell ... while we got this business for her to run (and I don't have much "connection" with), I'd rather take it over and try to be nice to people (which is a pretty iffy scenario, to be honest) while putting it on its feet than let it die. While I typically HATE doing "paperwork", she seems to be incapable of keeping up with basic "logging in" stuff ... if I took this over, it would be all OCD'd to the max (charts and crap), but I'd at least be on top of that shit.

ARRRGH! I am so frustrated with all this. She was even trying to go back to school to become some sort of certified Counselor, but hit a snag in that she was supposed to find a "volunteer" for her to work with on an on-going class project and could not bring herself to actually ASK anybody despite how many possible acquaintances I suggested ... and so quit the program 2 weeks into it! This is just like when she took Photography for about three weeks ... she got to her first assessment/grading and couldn't handle having her work critiqued and quit. Or like the time we bought her another franchise for personnel assessment, and she decided, once she realized that she'd actually have to market her services to companies, that "it just wasn't right for her" ... I think we have ten grand worth of that crap in a closet here somewhere.

I am seriously thinking that while we're out running around to schools this week (which now she's claiming is going to be difficult because she has an owwy ankle), I'm going to suggest that I take over the damn Tutoring biz. Yes, I'm not "warm and fuzzy" ... yes, we'll probably have to get new tutors who will put up with not being coddled ... and yes, we'll probably lose some potential clients whose little darlings are too damn stupid to be helped ... but I do NOT want to sit on the fucking sidelines making $11/hour to see her just "run away" from this after plowing us into debt (it's all funded by a housing loan) because she thought that this would be something where she could just be nice and help people.

Seriously, what was she thinking? ... all the stuff she bitches about are things ANYBODY would see coming ... you have unreliable tutors ... you have lying, delusional, and non-paying clients ... you have uncooperative schools ... you have paperwork ... you have a parent company that isn't there to do your job for you ... and you actually have to spend money on ADVERTISING to let people know you're out there! That last one just bugs the hell out of me ... at this point she's pulled the plug on ALL our ads but for the phone book and Google ... and then complains that nobody's calling. Well, DUH! We don't have anything OUT THERE ... but every time I come up with a possible ad plan "we can't afford it" (and, admittedly, it costs a lot of money to do anything, but you have to do something or there's no business!).

Obviously (having failed at everything that I've ever ventured into), I'm no great paragon of business, but I tend towards staying the course well past the point where it becomes a lost cause [a bit like the Black Knight in Monty Python & The Holy Grail saying "Just a flesh wound" after having both arms cut off, but still kicking at King Arthur}. However, I do NOT think that the Tutoring biz has become a lost cause ... all the "factors" we had going in are still there ... a good territory ... a good product ... and only needing about 60 clients to make it work. I'd rather give myself the summer and the next school year to turn this around that to just slink away and have all that we've thrown at it go to waste.

Bleh ... I didn't get up in the middle of the night to vent, but hey ...

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