Part of me really resented all these fresh-faced young people going out into the world with brand-new degrees. I really wanted to tell them that 30 years ago I had just completed my Freshman year there, and that having a degree from a good college didn't really mean shit in the crap game that is life. Look at me. 30 years later I'm back there pouring beer.
I'd make a good graduation speaker ... "Watch your back. Get everything in writing. Trust nobody."
Ain't I just the biggest stinking pile of putrid failure you've ever seen?
It sure looks that way from here.