BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

just shoot me ...

Man ... why is it every time I get a "full night's sleep" (in this case about 8 hours) I end up getting a migraine? You would think that getting rest would REFRESH my brain instead of short-circuiting it, but pretty much every time I get more than my 3-5 hours of sleep a night, WHAM, there's the nausea-dizzy-headache thing. Bleh. Needless to say, I didn't get jack shit done today. Well, that's not 100% true. I was so muddled by the headache that I got into a panic about not having my poetry files handy for working on the poem site, so I started to dig and did, eventually, find all the disks. Plus, I at least started the process for getting set up wtih AT&T to replace ... signed up on-line for their 7/7 plan, but I guess they don't let you d/l the softeware anymore, so I have to wait for the disk. I'm really not happy about that (the plan is actually an unlimited version of their i495 program, which has that stupid little bar with ads that tracks where you go ... hope they like smut ... to tailor ads to you) but the price is right ($7/month for the dial-up and our long distance drops to 7¢/minute) and I haven't been able to find another good option as far as a local ISP. I also had an interesting chat with AOL today ... I've been trying to get a couple of new screen names set up on my personal account and dump my Eschaton account (which I'm not really using for anything but getting catalog requests), but both of the names I've been trying to get show up as "being in use" when I try to register them, despite "not being a known user" when I try to e-mail them. I couldn't get a clear answer from them about that, but they did have all sorts of new options on shifting names between accounts, etc. Dumping the extra account will save almost as much as the rest of the domains cost me a year, so it makes sense. I'm still going to keep the one account, though, since times like this week (when has been flopping around waiting to die), it has been mighty handy to have the other dial-up ready to roll. Anyway, once the AT&T thing is in place, I'll have the poem site up. I have the "structure" ready to go, and it will just be a matter of filling in the poems ... which will take a while, since all of them up till last fall (when I "started writing again") are in PFS:Write (circa 1985) format, which is not compatable with anything, so I have to pull them up individually in PFS:Write, then save them with an .asc extension, then re-name them .txt so that Notepad will recognize them, THEN I get to do the cut-paste, etc., necessary to get them each onto their own little web pages, all nicely linked to the previous poem, the following poem, and to the appropriate month and year. Yeah ... that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder sure does come in handy at times ...

                    DAMNED DAYS OF DIRE DECLINE

                    pain enfolds
                    embeds in agony
                    we can not think
                    we can not act
                    we are frozen
                    in hours idle
                    locked in cycles
                    of nameless ache

                    all our plans
                    are scuttled here
                    all intents
                    are broken down
                    nothing functions
                    as it should
                    nothing serves
                    to betterment

                    there are rooms
                    inside of rooms
                    and boxes inside
                    of this enclosure
                    and we are held there
                    and can not find exit
                    can not see the way
                    we are set within

                    these days are poison
                    all aspects seek to kill
                    what's real within the self
                    what's true within our world
                    the outer madness presses in
                    and grinds away at our defense
                    we grow so weary of the fight
                    so beaten by the battle

                    so many needs
                    we can not sort
                    or prioritize
                    we are stuck between
                    a dead and soulless world
                    and one that can't survive
                    the ravages of the other
                    no matter how we strive

                             - Brendan Tripp

                    Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp

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