I know that to the rest of the whole fucking world doing these poems is probably as useful as playing solitaire, and from all the response they get, they might as well BE solitaire, but they are the ONE THING that I can hold to as a tangible "see what I've done" marker ... pretty fucking pitiful, I know ... but you gotta play the cards you're dealt.
By the way, I've been trimming down my Friends list. I realize that this will have a diminishing effect on who's reading ME (and, lord knows, I'd love to have as big an audience as I can get!), but since it's pretty obvious that a lot of folks who have me "reciprocally" listed as a Friend couldn't give a flying fuck about me, and probably don't bother reading my stuff anyway, it really doesn't matter, does it. I just got to a point where I realized how much time L.J. sucks out of my day, for good or bad, and I figured that (and, trust me, I'm not being "judgemental" here, and it's almost never "personal") if there were journals with which I was no longer "connecting", it would behoove me to not take up time with them. Sorry if you were one of the half dozen or so to go last night ... I wish there were "tiered" options for setting up the Friends list ... one which would be the "courtesy" list, where folks got listed "just because", sort of setting up bookmarks to their journals, but wouldn't show up when one actually READ one's Friends list ... since there are a lot of people that I'd just as well keep some sort of touch with, but whose journals, for whatever reason, just were not usefull things to fill my time with at the moment. Oh well. Nobody's reading this at this point, so what's the fucking use.
SO BEATEN, SO DOWN
on-rushing content
without context or frame
we lose so much
in the chaos
unable to tag
the elements
unable to chart
the patterns
in this fury
all achievements fail
in that completion
has no meaning
and that attaining
has no effect
on endless lists
and ceaseless needs
no matter what
is finished here
no matter what
tasks we fill
nothing builds
nothing grows
we are left in descent
lower down
so many efforts
go for naught
so many plans
falter at the start
we seem locked into states
all failure and demise
chained into places
of derision and despite
is there a way
to leave this zone?
is there a road
which we can take
which leads away
from the stony cycle
of death and despair
and into some light?
- Brendan Tripp
08/13/2001
Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp