1.)Q. Can you cook?
1.)A. - Yes, but I really need an audience to do it for, I get very little satisfaction out of the process itself.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
2.)A. - I wanted to take over the world and be Emperor For Life.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
3.)A. - I've always found my lack of musical abilities very frustrating.
4.)Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be?
4.)A. - (sigh) I've been sober now for twenty-some-odd years, so it would be a Red Bull or something.
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
5.)A. - Artichoke.
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
6.)A. - Christopher Hitchens' Letters to a Young Contrarian
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
7.)A. - Libra (both Sun and Moon).
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
8.)A. - No, but a lot of "body mods" thanks to that near-fatal car crash back in '93.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
9.)A. - You'll have to ask The Wife about that.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
10.)A. - In what? I live downtown and don't keep a car!
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
11.)A. - The High Holy Church of the NFL - Chicago Bears sect.
12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
12.)A. - I have been trying very hard to be more positive, but a half a century of "staring into the abyss" is hard to shake.
13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
13.)A. - Dunno ... I would hope that neither of us had had a burrito platter for lunch, though.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
14.)A. - The aforementioned car crash.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
15.)A. - I carry two South American shamanic lineages.
16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
16.)A. - There is a cat, two guinea pigs, and two parakeets who live here, not sure if any are specifically "mine".
17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
17.)A. - You'd have to get through security ... gotta love high-rise living!
18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?
18.)A. - Dunno ... who are you, again?
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are funny or scary?
19.)A. - My arteries are scared of Ronald McDonald.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
20.)A. - I could stand to lose a quarter of my current body weight.
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
21.)A. - Depends on what sort of a cut I'm getting.
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
22.)A. - The drivers license says "grey", but it's been argued that they're "hazel".
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
23.)A. - Not exactly.
24.)Q. Bottle or Draft?
24.)A. - They don't do a draft version of NA beer.
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
25.)A. - Ten grand would help, but not change anything ... ask me about ten million!
26.)Q. Would you date me?
26.)A. - I'd have to ask The Wife about that.
27.)Q. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
27.)A. - Again, been "clean & sober" for over 20 years ... all my old favorite haunts are gone.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
28.)A. - Sort of.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29.)A. - Spare time ... as in time not spent on the Internet? Read.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
30.)A. - Like a longshoreman with Tourettes.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
31.)A. - People are fucking STUPID.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32.)A. - Bitter.
33.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same?
33.)A. - It appears so.
Now, wasn't that just so informative?