BTRIPP (btripp) wrote,

I'm an idiot, but I guess a lucky one ...

Soooo ...

Once again we prove that, "attitude" notwithstanding, I am not the Hulk.

That's my right wrist tonight.

Now, in my defense ... I'm under a LOT of stress of late. I have a whole lot of anguish, frustration, and anger bottled up inside over this whole "can't get a job" thing. Unfortunately, I don't have any good way of venting this and it's been bubbling up in "inappropriate" ways. This morning we had a problem with the door going back to the main bedroom. It had managed (somehow) to get locked with nobody on the lock side of the door, and I had to go about taking things apart. I'd successfully gotten the doorknob removed, the door opened, and was in the process of putting it back together again when one of the screws got jammed.

And out came Hulk ... but as my daughters keep reminding me, the "Hulk SMASH!" response works a whole lot better when you've got rock-hard green skin and are 800lbs of gamma-ray enhanced muscle. Somehow I thought I was going to solve this by walloping on the offending doorknob with my fist. Except I hit it with my wrist ... and at this point don't have a clue how I managed not to BREAK my wrist in the effort. After the one smash, it was clear that using my bare flesh on the metal was not the best approach, so pulled out a hammer, which only served to totally bend up the screws (which I eventually had to saw through), but I guess there was a certain emotional release in the ensuing mayhem.

Anyway, my wrist puffed up to about twice its usual size, I got sent back to my office with a large ice pack, and have been dealing with my stupidity all day. I'm pretty numb emotionally at this point.

I just hope that I can get a fucking job before the stress gets to the point where Very Bad Things Happen. I've spent the past 3 days chasing what appears to be a delusional program (although I've set up a whole slew of "social media" things for these folks), and I'm a bit burnt out and feel like I've been jerked around. Not good.

I'd really hoped that this presentation that I did for an agency (about Second Life) last week would have produced some "forward moving" but I'm not seeing any traction there. This is just killing me because I can't seem to "get in the door" any place even if I've actually been in the door as it were.

I keep trying to keep to that "attraction/intention" stuff, but I'm "losing faith" as each week spins past with another 50 resumes out and no interviews.

Anyway, figured I'd memorialize my idiocy for all the fucking world to see. Feel free to mock ... at this point I'm feeling kicked down by life so much I probably won't even fucking notice.

Visit the BTRIPP home page!

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