I got up crack-of-dawn this morning to go down to the State of Illiinois building ... I'm down to trying to find ANY job, but simply got a run-around down there ... I guess I need to apply for a general category of jobs, send the paperwork off to Springfield, and then see what "I'm qualified for" ... but they didn't even LIST the sort of jobs that I'm likely to BE qualified for (stuff like "Public Information Officer"), which made it VERY hard to even start to get the process moving! This is SO frustrating. Just what I fucking need, too ... one more source of frustration.
Anyway ... wrote this one yesterday ... I guess this has a reasonably high "Plath rating" too ...
THE DEEPEST TORTURE, THE SUREST LOSS
in this absence,
in this void,
we swim in seas of loss
and drown in anguish;
we are taunted by madness
unable to break away
from this corrupt world
and into freer states
my spirit is broken
and aches more deeply
than any pain
this body has endured,
my soul lies beaten
in some dungeon cage
trapped in a reality
worse than any hell
I am cast to this abyss
of horrid nightmares
which have no waking,
terrors which have no end;
I am damned to failure,
cursed to only lose
no matter all my striving
no matter what the odds
how evil is the world
which twists down like this,
destroying every good
obliterating every dream
crushing all our hope and prayer
and threatening all we have
with darker futures
and more tortured times
the greyness closes
around me now,
I am swallowed by the mundane
and smothered by its mass;
there is no route for escape
there is no means for us to save
our selves, our world,
anything for which we care
- Brendan Tripp
10/08/2001
Copyright © 2001 by Brendan Tripp
